More explanations: heaven, photographed

19 September 2011

There is a gateway to heaven, and Saint Peter stands before it directing traffic. He holds a microphone when it’s busy. Heaven is first come, first serve — but if you arrive with a large party it might take longer.

This is less well known: heaven is accessed via escalator. It is a surprisingly long escalator.

In heaven, good things come in threes.

Steam rises gloriously from stacks of things in threes. In heaven, all you do is point, and those steaming bundles of goodness are yours.

What you really, really want are the steamed BBQ pork buns, bottom right corner.In heaven, the gods wish you to partake of things that you may have no words for.

In heaven, the gods release you from dietary restrictions on pork and shellfish, and you experience true ecstasy.

In heaven, the chili sauce inevitably makes a mess on the table, the tea gets really strong by the end, and you eat more than you intended. In fact, you weren’t sure you were capable of eating that much. But you are bolstered by the knowledge that heaven is not expensive, and it will be here waiting for you again next time.

There is no list of the elect, no exclusions, no prerequisites. Just look for Saint Peter and the escalator, and ascend.

2 Responses to “More explanations: heaven, photographed”

  1. servetus Says:


  2. Didion Says:

    Okay, certain smirking friends find it very amusing to inform me that I will never make it as a food photographer. Message received! Let me also note that you have all informed me that you will join me on my next trek out for dim sum, so I also want to note that your messages are quite mixed.

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